BTT EP 9
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[00:00:00] First of all, I just wanna dedicate today's podcast episode to singer and songwriter, D'Angelo, Michael Archer, who died today last year from pancreatic cancer. And I never would've predicted it, but that loss, oof, in the creative world, it hit me super hard, and it took me m- literal months to recover. I realized, like, how much of him was actually in the fabric of my own being, my own coming of age.
I was in my teens. I was 15 or 16 when his music came out. And, you know, just simply my love for his music, it was the soundtrack to so much of my life. His music, his creativity truly came from the soul. Like, this is a great example. He, was a great example of what a real creative, is like.
And so one of my ways of remembering him is making [00:01:00] sure to do the work I do, to help creatives without consuming, without sacrificing, or without abandoning themselves in the process. It's a real thing, and it happens so often, particularly in the music world too. But, so anyway, D'Angelo, this episode of Between the Tabs, this one is for you So without further ado, welcome to Between the Tabs, the moodboard podcast where creativity, growth, and business meet the real life happening between it all.
I'm your host, Kleidi Jeen, and we're gonna talk about the stuff that lives between work and who you are, and we're gonna do it in four parts like usual. So go ahead and grab your drink, grab your snack, and let's hop into part one. And part one takes us to, visibility. Again, I think we've mentioned this before on the podcast, but something I just wanted to mention I've been noticing on social media is that the introverted creatives, you know, we're [00:02:00] out here, and a lot of them are starting to take that leap to be visible on social media, actually showing their faces, doing the whole talking head thing.
I'm- I've just been seeing a few creatives of color in particular. I wish I jotted down some of the names of the accounts that I've been seeing, but I know there's one young Black woman in particular who comes to mind right now, who is literally documenting her journey as a specifically introverted creative and getting out there and being visible.
And she was just talking about in this series she created, like what she's been feeling, what's been the biggest challenges in going out there and getting visible, and I love, love, love seeing this because, you know, introverts, those who also just would rather work behind the scenes, like the depth of the minds and the hearts and the souls of these types of people, of these [00:03:00] creatives, is really fascinating.
And some of the stuff that they can bring to the table, to the conversation, is so wildly different, so imaginative, so visionary. And so I'm really, really glad to see this movement, and I'm hoping that I see more introverts, more kind of deeply thinking behind the scenes, just doing their thing type creatives, who are very sensitive, like Erykah Badu said, you know, sensitive about my shit.
So I hope that more of those people, like and myself too, I'm included in this category, get out there and put their faces out there if that feels right or put their voices or their writings, whatever it is, like actually put it out there because the world needs you. The world needs your voice. The world needs your perspective.
It's likely a more loving, not to say this in a naive way, but a more loving and connecting and, I don't know, useful, helpful type of perspective, than what we normally [00:04:00] get out there from, like, the narcissists and the s- sociopath and- paths and psychopaths who are kind of running the world right now.
So huge, huge breath of fresh air to see that this is a thing that's happening. I do struggle as an introvert with showing up to be v- to be visible. You see that in that I take these big breaks all of a sudden from social media, from posting on the podcast or on my blog because it just takes a lot out of me to put my words and my thought process and my ideas and everything out there.
So the struggle is real. I haven't yet found an easy way to do this, and I should document the process myself because I am, in I don't know which phase, which point, which era of my content creation, you know, giving it another try, and I keep, putting it down and picking it back up, and I think it's something worth it for me to do because, again, our voices really do, and our perspectives, no matter how [00:05:00] quirky or weird we think they are, they do need to be heard.
So the thing that I struggle with here is, like, putting on a mask to perform when I'm out and being visible and kind of letting that go, letting that mask recede, and letting that talking head post or that blog article be a real, honest to goodness thing that is coming up in my soul or in my heart or in my mind.
And so, that's kind of the crux of where I struggle with that. And you can, I don't know, shoot me an email, shoot me a DM on Instagram. Let me know what your struggles are with, being visible as a sensitive, energy sensitive, possibly introverted creative. All right.
So part two. Something that speaking of behind the scenes, you know, rabbit h- I know that you, if you're listening to this, you appreciate a good rabbit hole dive, and so I went on one about, like, what does [00:06:00] sleep have to do with creativity? Like, how do those things correlate with each other? And, what if we're not getting enough good sleep? What does that mean when it comes to our creativity?
So I did a quick, DuckDuckGo search because I don't use Google as my search engine, and one of the websites that came up, I j- just really was drawn to the name. It's called Each Night, so eachnight.com. I'll link the, the article that I found that I thought was really cool. And so I'll let you know just two of the things that came up in that article about how sleep relates to creative thinking or creativity
So the one, number one of the two things I wanna share from this article is that number one, sleep plays a fundamental role in creativity as it impacts both sides of the brain, enhancing imaginative thinking and the ability to solve problems.
So that was just me reading directly from the article. But [00:07:00] basically, if we don't get enough sleep, then our abilities to actually imagine, you know, have those aha moments in the shower or, when you're just walking to the metro or, driving to do an errand or something.
Th- those abilities to just, for those ideas to just pop up without effort and flow through, if there's not enough sleep in the room, okay, then you have to do more effort in order to make that happen. Okay? So there's that, and then the ability to solve problems. So there's, on the one side of the spectrum with creativity, just like the ideas flowing up out of the ether, right?
That we just talked about. And then the other part of it is our problem-solving skills, our, what a lot of people call scrappiness or just drive or just, that ability to make something out of nothing, right? And this is something a lot of women have in particular, But, uh, in general, like that ability [00:08:00] to solve a problem on the spot, like just make something happen that you want to happen, even though there's blockades, there's challenges, there's, things that pop up that get in the way of making this thing happen.
You know, that thing turns into a problem to be solved, right? So your ability to solve that problem diminishes a bit. It doesn't say how much, so I'm not talking like percentages. Like if you don't get this amount of sleep per night every night, then your ability to problem solve decreases by, 17%.
It's not like that. But it's just common sense, right? Even from getting, again, through this article, some of the actual, case studies and things like that, that support this statement. And so the second thing is, I'll just read it as well. Sleep deprivation can impair creativity by causing poor memory, reduced focus, inability to track and focus on complex tasks, increased mistakes, erratic behavior, and heightened negative [00:09:00] emotions.
Prioritizing good sleep habits is essential for nurturing creative thinking. And the reason I pulled this one out in particular is because a lot of these, symptoms of sleep deprivation are very similar to symptoms of other things like, high stress, chronic stress, being in, like an abusive situation.
If you're dealing with a narcissist, these are some of the same kinds of things that can come up. So there's other areas of our lives where these same, poor memory, perimenopause, perimenopause coupled with ADHD. Like these same things are coming up in different scenarios in our lives as well.
So why add on top of that, right? You're probably experiencing some level of constant stress, of chronic stress. Like, let's be real, the world is basically on fire, and we're sitting here forced to engage in late-stage capitalism to try to just survive it, right? [00:10:00] And so sleep deprivation on top of all of that, and everything else we're dealing with in our personal lives, just kind of increases those same types of symptoms, again, with the poor memory, the, erratic behavior, making mistakes all the time, like dropping things, things like that.
Adding sleep deprivation Or, lack of enough sleep on top of everything else just makes it all worse. And so then you're having to fight through even more, in your daily life if you're dealing with anything like some of the stuff I mentioned.
So, that just has me thinking about in general how creatives, you know, women creatives, creatives who are already, heightened energy sensitive creatives who have their own businesses, so there's that pressure on your creativity to actually allow you to make ends meet, to live a lifestyle that is comfortable enough.
And so [00:11:00] if we, on top of all of that, put sleep deprivation or not getting enough sleep on top of it, it just makes things , it makes things a lot harder. So that was that little rabbit hole about, hmm, how does sleep correlate with creativity?
And this is where it got me. I hope it was helpful for you. You know, really common sense stuff, but especially that second point about all of the symptoms, it was just a strong reminder to me that, hey, already got a lot of stuff going on. Don't need to add sleep deprivation on top of it. And it's hard.
It's hard, especially for me, particularly as a mom as well. So other moms listening, you might understand this, you know. Like, when the kids go to bed, if you have younger kids, both of mine are under 10, and you get that moment of silence finally in the house after they're gone to bed. What do you do?
You wanna stay up and enjoy that silence. I think there's an actual name for it, so if somebody wants to send me a DM or something with the name for that, I would appreciate [00:12:00] it. But there's that thing where you are just excited to stay up and, and experience that alone time, that quiet time, that your sensitive, brain and heart and body have been yearning for the entire day.
So there's that part as well to make it a little bit harder to go ahead and go your butt to sleep, at least in my case. All right, creative babes, let's see.
Number three, point number three, we're already there and this one is just kind of an update in general about where I am, where the business is, and where we're going, right?
Where Soft Sundae is going. So I just wanna kind of applaud myself, celebrate myself right here in public, being visible doing it. This is a really important part of going out there and chasing your dreams, doing things that you want to, doing things that are off the beaten path. I wanna normalize this for you as well.
Like, celebrate what you [00:13:00] have accomplished because, shit is hard. Whatever you're creating is something that hasn't been done before, or at least it hasn't been done before the way you wanna do it. So taking those steps to make that happen, bravo to you and bravo to me, too. So I have built a whole lot.
I rebuilt Soft Sundae from January to June, so first half of this year, 2026, was full-on rebuild moment, so that's January to June, then July, August, September, crickets. Nothing, . I flew too close to the sun.
It was a lot to do six months of straight up building. It was a lot. I don't know if anybody else, out there listening understands, knows what I'm talking about. Can I get a amen if you know exactly what I'm talking about? So yeah, July, August, September were pretty, pretty quiet. There was nothing going on business-wise.
Well, there was something going on, but you know what? We're gonna talk about that another time. [00:14:00] So now we're here in October, and I'm picking up where I left off, uh, in June. It's October and I'm continuing the build. From January to June, holy F balls, yo, I rebuilt and relaunched my website, okay?
I built a course which I have yet to put into my course platform, the Beaucoup Boundaries self-study course, but it's coming. I built it. It's all built. I just need to actually put it in there. I participated in some bundles to grow my audience, to try to make sure that the people who are out there on my email list are people who want to hear what I'm talking about.
I created a newsletter, a whole new newsletter, a whole new layout. I started blogging in a completely different way, renamed the blog to On The Precipice. It feels so good. It feels so aligned. Like I'm excited to actually write my blog post now, so I got more in alignment there. Personally also, I made some huge steps.
I can't talk about them yet, things aren't finished, [00:15:00] but, I did do a lot of things on the personal side too. One of them was that I renewed, the US passport for one of my kids, for my five-year-old and, it's a little bit more difficult to do overseas. It takes a few more steps. So that's a win.
That's a huge win as well. Oh, I created two workshops. I, added on two more low-ticket items that, during that time period. Yeah, like I did so, so, so, so, so much. And oh, and my proudest moment from that time period, proudest moment was finally creating my resources page. Yo, creative cousins, I wanted to create a resource page for years.
It wa- oh, just to have like my low-ticket items on there, like an actual storefront. I don't know why, it just it's something I wanted so bad, and so I finally did it. That one, yeah, that's a big one for me. I'm so excited about that. Please go to my resources page at [00:16:00] softsundae.com, forward slash resources.
Love it, like it. There's a bunch of free stuff. There's a bunch of low-ticket stuff. It's, there's just all good stuff, all related to the work that, and the support that helps you, to take your own path as a creative and dare to do your own thing without burning out, without abandoning yourself, without losing yourself,
There's sacrifice, right? When we're on our own paths, we have to maybe work hard for an extensive period of time. We maybe have to give up on some other things for the moment if we're focusing on that. There, there's definitely sacrifices, and it's definitely hard. But what my goal is, for myself and for you all, is to provide that type of support and these types of reminders and these types of structures to help you do all of this without abandoning yourself and without burning out I think I might [00:17:00] even, document this process for myself.
I don't know. Just think- look, I'm already thinking of something new to do. I still have a whole bunch of stuff to wrap up. Let me stop. So speaking of, what's coming next, what's on the horizon? The one thing I wanna talk about is something I've been building slowly over the course of the summer, something I just alluded to, earlier when I started this part three.
And so June, July, August, September, I've been slowly building my first in real life, my first IRL offer in years, and that is Thai yoga bodywork. I started doing Thai yoga bodywork, and this is Thai massage, basically. I started doing it in 2013, getting certified, started taking on clients in 2014.
This was back when I lived in Washington, D.C. And even when I moved to Paris, I took on a few clients as well. But then after my second pregnancy, I, psh, oh gosh, I couldn't do [00:18:00] anything, leading up to that, birth and, it took me a long time. Honestly, I often say, , my postpartum period for my second and last child for that birth, it was about four and a half years.
So don't let anybody tell you that, oh, postpartum is only, like, three months or two months or this, you know, or that. It's different for everybody. It depends very largely on what kind of support you have, on what kind of access you have to whatever it is you need, what kind of comfort that you have, just what you're dealing with at home, at, at, at work, what your past history is, psychologically and otherwise.
Like, it depends on so much. It is so uniquely individual. So don't let anybody tell you what postpartum is. Mine was four and a half years. Kid you not. And it's, it, even though it might sound like, oh, wow, that's so long, I am definitely sure that many, [00:19:00] many, many, you know, thousands of other mothers have experienced a similar time period of postpartum.
So anyway, how did I get there? What are we what are we talking about? Oh, yeah. So anyway, haven't done Thai massage basically in five years because of that so I was telling a friend of mine here in Paris, like we were just on a, a walk in the park in Buttes-Chaumont, and I was just telling her some of what my certifications were and, it's like the, you know, reiki, Thai massage, I got my cultural anthropology.
She's... And then when she heard Thai massage, she perked up. And so I went home and I was, , just reflected and mulled over that. It's like, oh shit, I haven't done that in ages. Like, what might that be like to pick that up again? Because I used to love it, you know? And so I put the word out on the street, and so my clientele has been slowly building up.
I love giving Thai massage, Thai body work. The, my clients are loving receiving it. And I'm just like adding on little [00:20:00] tidbits of, just little effects here and there to make it as luxurious as possible. Like it's, oh my gosh. Oh my God. If you're not in Paris, please come and schedule a session. If you are in Paris, like girl, you need to get over here and...
Well, actually I come to you. I come to your home. I bring everything. It's so, it's super luxurious. So I'll be focusing on that. And a few back end things to wrap up. I'll be focusing on those two seriously hard for the rest of this year. I'm also kind of experimenting with content creation again and gonna try some sort of niche experiments. Tell me if you've done this. I am thinking of experimenting with dealing with only one subject because, I go deep and wide with Soft Sundae. We go deep into things like figuring out your creative purpose over the course of six months.
We go deep on boundaries, but boundaries for people who are [00:21:00] so used to being the kind one in the room, so used to people pleasing, like getting from zero to boundaries in that particular instance. So that takes a lot of, detailed and one step at a time kind of work. So anyway, I'm going from, this wide and deep net that I've cast in this universe I'm creating with Soft Sundae, and I'm pondering if on Threads, just like sticking with one particular part of Soft Sundae of what I offer and just going deep and having fun on that one subject.
I'm thinking about doing that. So that's one thing that I might experiment with, , coming up, and I don't know if it should be boundaries or if it should be my, Thai body work that I'm really focusing on for the rest of the year. I'm also... I don't know if you know, I have an offer called Self-Centered, which is a one-on-one offer to help you, when...
to support you and your nervous system when you are preparing for, in, and right after launch mode if you're launching something. [00:22:00] So I haven't talked about that much in a year, and so I'm also kind of itching to get back to Self-Centered. So I don't know what the subject matter is gonna be, but yeah, that's the little experiment.
So you'll see also some series, some different series unfolding on Instagram. I'm excited about those. And, I'm experimenting with having two to three series going on at a time over the course of a month or so. So we'll see. We will see. And then I'm gonna be doing some posting on LinkedIn as well, which I haven't done in a while.
So- That's what's coming next. If you're nosy, if you wanna , know more, always, like, seriously, just Soft Sundae Studio on Instagram, send a DM or send an email to hello@softsundae.com. And remember, the Sundae is like an ice cream sundae and not the day of the week, okay? So we're already here to part four.
Oh my God, I've been having so much fun yapping away [00:23:00] on this podcast. Even though it's Wednesday, okay, and we are over here looking for the dopamine hits between the tasks and the tabs. And you know what? You know what I think will get us through the rest of this week gracefully, and, also just to kind keep my Beaucoup Boundaries course alive.
Sorry about that. I got to the point of finally recording everything to put the course on the course platform, and I did not want to enter into full burnout mode over this, even though it would've been awesome to say, , oh my gosh, I finally completed this huge goal, which I've had now, guys, for, , oh, three or four years, either 2022 or 2020.
Oh, it's 2023, I think. So three years. Almost there. Still not there, but that's... This is , the crux of the work that I'm doing. And what I help people with, what help creatives with. Do I sacrifice myself, [00:24:00] just go ahead and go all the way to burnout mode to put my creative stuff out there, or do I do this in a way that is sustainable so that I don't crash, I don't burn, I don't go away for, , three years?
I can cons- sustain doing the work and take my time and patiently while nurturing myself and making sure that I'm cared for, take my time one step at a time and put my work out into the world. So I'm choosing the latter. And, Speaking of experiments, this is like this one big experiment.
As a creative, Do I burn myself out to get something out there, or knowing how big my vision is, do I take my time, take care of myself, and put it out one step at a time? So anyway, there's that. So long story short, all that to say, keeping Beaucoup Boundaries alive and getting our little dopamine hit here, this is what I [00:25:00] am thinking can get us through the rest of the week, okay?
Next time a boundary is tested- Next time someone, you say no and someone's like, "Are you sure because blah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah?" Next time that boundary is tested, I want you to stay in your body. Stay in your body. And I know as I say those words, those four words, stay in your body, you're starting to realize that when a boundary is tested, you likely dissociate.
You likely... Your brain, It cuts out of there. It gets out of the body. Your mind gets out of the body, and it goes somewhere else to try to just, cope with that situation and just get through it somehow. You answer questions you don't wanna answer, you give information you don't wanna give. You say yes when you want to say no.
Those responses are supported by that dissociation, so that's why I'm saying stay in your body. That's why I'm saying those four words. Don't flee. Don't dissociate. [00:26:00] Okay? The thought of it right now even is probably scaring you a bit like, "Oh my God, stay in my bo- stay there while somebody's just giving me the blues?
No. No, thank you." So I know this, there might be a, a huge hesitation there, a huge sense of fear like, "I don't know if I can stay with my body." What might that feel like? It's, it's also something you don't normally practice. You don't have a habit of doing that. So it's like, asking a 30-something-year-old adult who hasn't ever swam in their life, "Hey, jump in the pool.
Start swimming." It feels like that, right? But look, trust in this and trust in yourself. Stay in your body next time that happens and someone tests your boundary. And while you're staying there, you're not staying there just to feel the pain and feel the fear, okay? I do want you to notice what you're feeling, but also notice where in your body that you're feeling it,
so fear is likely gonna come up for example. Where is it? Is it like a tingling in your [00:27:00] tummy? Do your upper arms start to have a weird feeling? Do you feel it in your lower back? Like, where in your body are you feeling something, the reaction to this boundary being tested, okay? So I want you to, one, stay in your bound- y- stay in your boundary.
If your boundary is tested, stay in your body. Don't flee. Number two, notice what you feel. And number three, notice where you feel it, okay? It will feel like an eternity. It will feel like 300 million years have passed. But don't worry about that. Do it anyway because it's really, a matter of seconds, and I mean single-digit seconds,
you don't have to time yourself. Just trust in yourself and trust in your body, okay? But it's... this process is not gonna take any time. It's like, when you're watching a movie like Back to the Future or something, where they travel back in time. It's been days and days in that, parallel universe, but in the real time it's been, like, [00:28:00] barely two minutes that have passed.
It's like that, okay? It feels like you're doing, like, Back to the Future, but in reality, literally no time is really passing, okay, as you go through this. All right? So I want you to do that because when you do that, when you are noticing what you're feeling, where are you feeling it, you're staying with yourself, you're staying in your body, that connection and those feelings tell you what your next best move is.
Your body is actually the mind. Neuroscientists are saying that the mind is really the experience of the full self and the reaction to what this full self is experiencing in the world. That's how it's gathering information, that's how it's processing information, and, and that's how the mind works.
The mind is the full body. So before, you're dissociating, you're cutting yourself off from, from all of your wisdom, your intellect, your, uh, your mind, okay? The mind is the body. [00:29:00] And I'm not making this up. Google it. This is something neuroscientists are saying, okay?
From tons of research Okay? And so having that access to your body, to your full body, to your full mind, will allow you so much more of a possibility of taking the right step for you, the right fit step for where you are in life, as opposed to acting out of habit and just saying yes even though you don't want to, or giving, uh, yeah, you know, I made $75 an hour.
You don't even wanna share your financial information. So those are habits, right? And so what we're gonna do is stay with the body and listen to it and act from there to form a new habit. Okay? This is gonna work wonders in freeing up your energy and feeling aligned and feeling like you did the right thing instead of replaying something in your mind over and over again.
This is something that will really, gracefully get you through the rest of your week, [00:30:00] but also, like, gracefully get you through the rest of your life. , tuck this one in your pocket because, this is some real stuff, real juicy stuff. Okay? So I will post the link to that article about sleep in the show notes, a link to System Reboot, my IRL body work session here in Paris, just in case you might be interested in that.
And I will meet you the next time we're surfing for dopamine between the tabs, AKA next Wednesday. Bye.
