BTT EP 11
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[00:00:00] Welcome, welcome to Between the Tabs, the moodboard podcast where creativity, growth, and business meet the real life happening between it all. I am your host, Kleidi Jeen, and we are gonna talk about the stuff that lives between work and who we are, and we're gonna do it in four parts. First of all, I am coming down with a cold, so I might sound a little nasally and stuffy on this particular podcast.
I take this as a sign to slow down, so this weekend, I'm recording this on the weekend even though this comes out on Wednesday I'm just taking it easy, helping my boys get ready to go back to school for rentrée. And to be honest, I love when I get sick because it's my body showing me that, hey, I really do need to slow down.
It probably sent me some signals before that I ignored, but the signals are getting stronger, of course, with the sickness, and so it's my body [00:01:00] communicating to me that, "Hey, whatever it is you're doing now isn't really working for us. Can we please try another way?" So I'm trying the other way. I'm listening to my body.
I'm drinking lots of herbal teas, tisane. I am eating lots of fruits and vegetables and, just taking it easy and listening to my body. When we do this, y'all, it is Oh my God, whole game changer. Whole game changer. So just wanted to say that as a nice reminder of me practicing what I preach with staying in tune and connected with the self as I personally go after these big dreams and try to make them happen, and hopefully it's resonating with you to listen to your body and do the same.
So without further ado, let's get into part one. So go ahead and grab your hot tea, okay? Grab a little, I don't know, a little nectarine or something. Let's get going. [00:02:00] So I don't have really anything new I wanna talk about in terms of Paris. The same kinds of things are happening, as you probably know. This is late October, the day before Halloween, so a Happy Halloween episode of Between the Tabs over here, but also this is a really big moment of the people, the students, families standing up to protect their rights that are really trying to be eroded here in France.
It's really crazy how different things are and how things are changing so rapidly, but probably they were changing slowly in the background as well. So just on the protest front, there is one coming up on tomorrow, on Halloween day, and we will see how it turns out. Maybe I'll update you on the next episode.
But yeah, we are still in the midst of prote- protein. We are still in the midst of protest season. It reminds me a lot of 2018 when there were the [00:03:00] Gilets Jaunes protests going on over and over again. I had my first son at that time, and he was about one year old, and I would try to explain to him what was going on and things like that.
But yeah, this is different now. It's eight years later, and, still the, the people are working hard to stand up for their rights here. So that's what's going on that front. And I don't know how this is gonna come off. I'm just gonna try it anyway. My goal with this podcast is to talk about the quirky things that I think about, because I know there's gotta be somebody else out there who not necessarily thinks exactly the same way, but, what I'm saying hopefully resonates with someone out there.
So I'm gonna just give it a twirl. And so what I was thinking about was the fact that humans tell stories. Humans tell stories, and I see this a lot. I kinda dive into this in and out a lot because of marketing. You know, marketing is storytelling, and marketing is a big part of [00:04:00] having a business, of being self-employed and doing what it takes to make a profit in that self-employment.
Marketing is, is the key. If you can't get anybody in through the doors, you don't have anybody to sign up for and partake in your offers. So even if you had the best offer or you were willing to improve your offer, you can't even get there without the marketing, without getting people through the door, right?
But in, anyway, in the vein of marketing, I was thinking about storytelling because I was reading yet another Instagram post, I think, about the art of storytelling and, as a business owner, how important storytelling is, like, when you're making your carousel posts. Totally suck at that personally, but that's why I was reading about it.
And so, you know, humans tell stories To, to capture, to capture the attention of, of other humans, just like spiders weave webs to capture right? They're [00:05:00] capturing their food. And in a sense, you know, as a business owner, humans tell a story to capture their food as well, right? They capture the attention of someone, hopefully that someone becomes a client, and that client pays money for their services, in order to put food on the table.
So in that way, it's also about capturing for food. So humans tell stories and spiders weave webs, and all of this is about the capture. And for humans, it's more this, this captivating thing. You captivate the attention of someone. And again, this can be for marketing or for, just for many reasons.
You might just even be a naturally good storyteller because that's how you relate to other people. It could be something benevolent, something that's just a natural gift or, or you know, someone could weave up stories, like a spider weave. Okay. Weave their stories but for more nefarious reasons, unfortunately. But for spiders, they weave their super intricate webs. I don't know where that stuff comes from and how they can just in their tiny little bodies just weave up all of these [00:06:00] webs and it just all comes again from this tiny body. And they're captivating and they're capturing what they, what it is that they wanna eat.
And so what's the difference? What's the difference between that spider capturing with their webs and the humans capturing with their stories? And, you know, the spider is gonna consume that, that fly, and in some way the human is going to consume the listener, right? When we tell our stories.
Consume their thoughts, consume their attention. And again, in marketing, that's really important. That's the whole point of it, isn't it? That's the whole point of storytelling and marketing, to consume the attention so that person can then consume your product. You know what? Let's let's take a moment and be glad that I do not smoke weed at this point because this is-- I-- anyway, this is the thought and I thought it might have been weird to share it, but I thought, you know what, [00:07:00] I'm gonna share it anyway because this might actually make sense to somebody.
And, I'm thinking of all of this because I am considering writing a memoir. I've always wanted to write a book and from that life story memoir viewpoint. And so I'm starting to question myself like, why do I even wanna do this? Why is it so important for me to write a book or to write a memoir one day?
Like what am I hoping to gain here? What am I hoping to consume the attention of others like that spider weaving the web to get food on the table? Or, you know, is it a legacy thing, is it really like me wanting to leave a legacy, to right wrongs, to clear up mis- miscommunications and misunderstandings.
You know, I don't know. It, I just... All these questions started coming up recently as I considered writing a memoir and I considered just the art of storytelling as I started [00:08:00] rabbit hole deep diving about that in general. So I don't know. Tell me what you think. Is, is, is this something that you've ever thought of doing, like writing a memoir?
And what is your relationship with writing and with storytelling? I would love to hear from you. You can DM me on Instagram. I'll make sure to include the link in the show notes. You can send an email if you just wanna start a conversation about this, if this is something that strikes your fancy.
It's something I'm super interested in as well. One day I'm gonna create like an online community so we can have an easy place to talk about this with each other and so we can all see each other's comments and things like that. I don't wanna do a Facebook group. I definitely am a member of several Facebook groups, uh, but I just the, I, I can't...
Look, Meta and the Meta choke hold, like I'm trying to get out of it. I'm not trying to get deeper into it. And it also seems just very Not my demographic. I don't know. Anyway, I have [00:09:00] thoughts. I already shared my quirky thought. I'm not gonna share another one right now. We'll save the next super quirky thought for next week.
Also, I guess a little behind the scenes is I can't remember if I shared before. This is part two. And, I have been over on LinkedIn dibbling and dabbling. I just recently updated my company page on LinkedIn, and I started posting there regularly. I post on there. I try to do, like, five days a week.
And so a few weeks ago, a couple of weeks ago actually, I started a series where... Because I, I have all of these experiences, right? Like, all of these levels of expertise, if you will. I have all these certifications and, you know, I teach yoga. I lead and guide meditation. I do Thai yoga body work. I am a Reiki master.
I have this cultural anthropology background with my master's degree. Like, I have all of these things, and I work with kids with arts and [00:10:00] crafts and teaching yoga and, creating workshops. So I have all of these different super variable experiences which all kind of lend really greatly to workplace wellness. And so over on LinkedIn, I've been slowly working on bringing up this, workplace wellness offering and idea, and right now it's not going so well.
Maybe it is going well. I don't know. I'm still posting. I've started to post more towards System Reboot, my launch of System Reboot here in Paris which is my Thai yoga body work at home session that I'm launching. And I did that. I changed it up a little bit because it just felt like I was going too fast with the workplace wellness,
like, I just blurted it out as opposed to... , speaking of the storytelling, and I already mentioned it's not my forte, like on Instagram, creating a storytelling carousel. It's the sa- same thing with posting on LinkedIn. I tend to blurt out the thing that [00:11:00] I'm gonna do. "Hey, I am creating a workplace wellness program.
What do you need?" Instead of like, "Here's my background, here's my story, here's what I wanna do. Like, do you wanna take this journey with me?" So I'm kind of slowing down, bringing it back to this, one offer because it's also easier to talk on multiple platforms about one offer as opposed to switching it up so much.
And, so yeah. I'm still, weaving in, like, you know, every now and then I'll blurt out, "Hey, I can do this in the workplace too." Okay? Or, over on my company profile, it's like, "I do all these services one-on-one, in group settings, and in the workplace." Okay? So I am trying to take a softer approach.
This is the... This is one of those moments where I think I really do have, AuDHD because I just have no charisma online in particular. Or maybe it's just like an online thing. [00:12:00] I don't know. But I'm, I am trying. All this to say, I am over on LinkedIn and I'm trying, and if you're there too, please, connect with me or follow me.
I would love to connect with you as well. Send me a DM, say hi, just to let me know that I am not alone in this. Sometimes I think I got it, and then, yeah, other times it's like, "Oh gosh, actually, this is just another algorithm to try to figure out." So I'm walking the thin line of naivete, like just, hey, I wanna put my thing out into the world, but trying not to do it so direct
You know, make it a little softer. So walking that line and also trying to stay practical in terms of how LinkedIn actually works, what feeds the algorithm well. But without getting too caught up in just my general purpose, of being over there or [00:13:00] their algorithm. Not being too caught up in either of them.
Sort of taking it as an experiment just for the delight of it. If something good happens out of it, that's great. I really enjoy, staying dedicated, just taking one step at a time, kee- you know, keeping on going, moving forward. I appreciate that part of it that really feeds the dopamine a little bit.
So anyway, that's what's happening over on, LinkedIn. And oh gosh, the other thing I wanna say about that is it's so awkward though. It's so awkward, especially if you have pivoted in your career like I have. Like I was a museum curator for 15 years and in a very kind of odd niche of military, like army, straight-up military organizations that I worked for.
So you know, straight up guns, cannons, tanks, helicopters. Like this is the kind of stuff . This is the kind of stuff that was normal in my [00:14:00] last few years of working as a curator. And so having those people, those connections see me be soft and see me working with the body and doing my Thai yoga body work.
We like, you know, like I used to wear these pencil skirt suits and high heels, and now they're seeing me in my yoga gear with my belly out, giving somebody a massage. Like the thought of it is really, it's really jarring. It's really weird and it's a re- it's a little embarrassing.
It makes one blush, okay? But I don't know, I'm doing it anyway because I also have a belief, a deep belief that doing it anyway, you know, when people see that , it's inspiring and it's encouraging for them as well to be more of who they are. Me just being myself, putting myself out there as I am with what my desires are, what my purpose is, or what I believe my purpose to be and just like putting it out there that I'm going for [00:15:00] it, for people who have no experience in doing that
feel like that's something that they cannot do if they see me, somebody that they know doing that, hopefully that is helpful. So anyway, yeah, that's that. Again, go over there on LinkedIn. I have a links... You know what? I'll put the link to my company page and my personal LinkedIn in the show notes here so you can go over there, connect with me, say hi, how you doing?
Anyway, that's that.
So let's move on to part three of Between the Tabs on this here Wednesday, and this one I just wanna talk quickly about the nervous system. Everybody and their mama is out there talking about how you need to reset your nervous system or regulate your nervous system, and it reminds me of...
Actually, speaking of my old career, [00:16:00] I remember at my last job one of the employees there, one of the managerial, staff, he was saying how zen he is. He was always talking about he's so zen. And, I think about that when I think about nervous system regulation because it can easily be taken as just making sure that you appear calm.
When you say, "Oh, I wanna reset my nervous system. I need some nervous system regulation over here," think about it because it can really be about just wanting to appear normal or appear calm. I have someone in my life who I'm having lots of difficulty with at this moment, and that person is always speaks really quietly, speaks really calmly, but causes pure and utter chaos 100% pure chaos.
And [00:17:00] so I don't want the idea of nervous system regulation to be taken as, you know, if you're ingesting the message that you need to regulate your nervous system, I don't want that message to be that, okay, I just need to really be calm and really be cool and, and that'll take care of everything.
Because you can appear calm and have liquid hot magma lava boiling underneath your skin. And so repressing all of that, repressing anger, suppressing anger, suppressing grief and sadness and all of those feelings that we consider, quote-unquote, bad, pushing that down, pushing those down and ignoring them is not nervous system regulation And also there's the fact that nervous system regulation happens around the autonomic system, the autonomics nervous system.
And that's about the parasympathetic and the sympathetic nervous systems working together. And on the sympathetic side, you have, [00:18:00] basically fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Whenever there's... It's your stress response. So whenever there's a stressful situation, if somebody's testing your boundaries, if you feel like you're in danger when you're out and about, something like that, you tend to have one of these four reactions, fight, flight, fawn, or freeze, and not necessarily the same one each time with each moment that you feel, stressed enough to naturally and automatically go to those.
But those are the responses. And so that's your blood pressure, your blood... Your heart starts to pump faster. You sweat. Your judgment is clouded. All you're trying to do is get to safety. Nothing else matters. You're going into tunnel vision, right?
And so day to day in our lives as modern humans in this modern, actually postmodern world, we get into a fight, flight, freeze moment. We have a tense moment with our supervisor, for example, or something like that, and we [00:19:00] don't usually do anything to bring us back down. So yeah, you have, the tense moment with your supervisor or someone honks their horn at you because you turned left without your blinker or,
Like yesterday actually, I was walking to the doctor and as I was crossing the street, , the light was green. As I was crossing the street, my light turned red and a biker just, , zoomed in front of me and rang their bell at me and, in French, they were like, "It, it's red. You're not supposed to cross,"
and it's like, "Oh, okay." Okay. And so there's these moments where we are put into stress response, but we don't consciously do anything to take ourselves, to take our nervous systems out of stress response. And so that's what nervous system regulation is about, is so that you're not always in stress response.
You're not always operating from fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. So that, after the biker situation or after someone [00:20:00] blows their horn at you or after something- Puts you into that stress response, instead of you keeping it as you cook your dinner, as you take your shower, as you sit down and watch a little something on Netflix.
In those moments, if you don't have something to put you into parasympathetic mode, you're holding onto that stress response. And, that wreaks all kinds of havoc in the body and in the mental as well. And that's where the parasympathetic system comes in, and that's what I think most people are talking about when you have healers and yoga teachers and everything talking about, let's do a nervous system reset or a nervous system regulation situation. It's to allow your system to come back down into feeling safe, feeling supported, feeling that it can take up space again.
It doesn't have to run. It doesn't have to flee. It doesn't have to small up itself to get safe. It's really important to engage the [00:21:00] parasympathetic system so that, your nervous system, your body, your being knows also what it feels like to feel safe and able to create freely and to feel free and laugh and have a good time.
And it's not about staying calm all the time. Nervous system regulation is, again, as yoga teachers and things like that usually put out there, is simply so your nervous system can come out of stress response and see what that feels like, and know that it's safe to come out of stress response and be there too, because it's necessary.
As a human, if you're always on, quote, unquote, on, and you're never quote, unquote, off, never in parasympathetic mode, again, it actually has an, a negative impact on your health. And so I just bring all of that up to clarify that nervous system regulation is not about appearing [00:22:00] calm.
Because you can appear calm and, again, have a world of molten lava running underneath you that hasn't been addressed, where the parasympathetic system hasn't been properly engaged so that you can let those experiences that brought you into stress response, let that go, let it move through your body in a healthy way, and let the integration of the knowledge of, that wisdom that you gained in those moments, let that integrate and let it go away.
And come back into calm sometimes. We're not always gonna be calm, and we don't wanna always be calm. If somebody is testing your boundary and being a butthole about it, you need to show up and stand up for yourself. If somebody is trying to harm you physically or mentally or otherwise, you need to be able to stand up and take care of your business.
So it's not about always staying calm, but it's about accessing all the parts of your nervous system that are at play that make you a [00:23:00] whole human and that make you a balanced human. So that's my thought on nervous system regulation for the day.
Okay. So that takes us to our last part, part four.
Now you know it's Wednesday. We are over here looking for dopamine hits between the tasks and the tabs. And you know what I think will get us through the rest of this week, speaking of nervous system regulation? Legs up the wall. I can't remember if I've talked about this in any of the other episodes because legs up the wall, honestly, is my go-to.
It's something I recommend all the time because that's how good it is. I remember I recommended legs up the wall, Viparita Karani, to my mom when I had my first kid and she was visiting me here in Paris. So this was the end of 2017, beginning of 2018. And I showed her how to do it, legs up the wall, and from that time, she still tells me, it's 2026, that she does that every now and then to help her calm down.
It [00:24:00] helps the lymphatic fluids drain and refresh. It helps the circulation system. It helps the boost the immune system. It is so many great benefits to legs up the wall, and it's such a simple, simple, simple pose to do. And yeah, if I'm having a really, really tough week I promise you, I do a modified version of legs up the wall.
I put my legs bent on the sofa, actually sometimes that works 10 times better for me. It helps me really, really get there. But just look up legs up the wall. Just, I would say Google it, but I don't use Google as my search engine. I use DuckDuckGo. So DuckDuckGo it, get on your favorite search engine.
Or get on YouTube, actually, and look up legs up the wall, so you can see how to do it. Get the shortest video. It does not need to take 30 minutes to show you legs up the wall. I think I may have a video of it on my YouTube. I don't know. I don't remember. I need to go over there and refresh it. But try it out. [00:25:00] It's a great, great way to engage your parasympathetic system, to help you integrate whatever has happened in your day so that those experiences turn into wisdom, into physical and physiological wisdom in your body as, as opposed to something trapped and causing health issues.
We don't want that, and it's so easy, to just do something like legs up the wall to help you regulate your nervous system. And so with that said, I think that is a wrap.
We've done this in four parts. Part one was kind of an A and a B, honestly, but you know, there it is. And that's it.
I'll meet you next time when we're surfing for dopamine hits between the tabs, AKA next Wednesday.
