The real reason slowing down feels unfamiliar (it’s deeper than discipline)

Today’s post is short but poignant and we’re starting it off with a lil’ assignment. Answer these 2 for yourself:

What did your grandmother do to take care of herself and her family?
What did your great grandmother do to take care of herself and her family?

Some of y’all might have some wild answers. Answers that show your foremothers had to do tough things to keep the lineage supported. Others among you might have answers that reveal a softness those before you were able to live. 

I recently learned that one of my grandmothers worked in a wood-cutting factory during World War II to help take care of her six children. My mom as the youngest would spend lots of time at her grandparents’ house while both her parents worked. Memories she looks upon fondly. The warm glow of the kerosene lamps. The graham cracker snacks after dinner. The love and joy she received as the sweet little girl she was. That was gained though from sacrifice.

The factory my grandmother worked at? All-white. In the deepest of Deep South, USA. She was likely passing for white to get this job. I can’t imagine. I would’ve been so paranoid that I’d be found out! Hell, she probably actually was. And she was cutting wood??? I’m so glad an accident didn’t happen. Work-related injuries and even death was sky high in the 1940’s in workplaces like that. Phew. The things women go through!

THEY WENT HARD SO WE COULD SOFTEN

And here I am typing away on a computer for a living and having the nerve to be exhausted from it sometimes.

In no way am I comparing but what I’m saying is that my ancestors—and I haven’t even mentioned the enslaved ones and the horrors they experienced—in many, if not most cases, experiences hard lives. At least for the last several centuries. 

And I owe it to my ancestors, to my lineage to soften. Because, even through modern day hardships, if you’re not in the epicenter of somewhere like Palestine or Congo, and you’re born into a western society with some form of privilege and proximity to power, you have a pretty good chance of being able to soften in areas of life unimaginable by many of my ancestors. 

[i do this for you all! my mother, my grandmother, my great grandmother...all the foremothers]

You can travel easily. You can eat well and splurge on take out from time to time. You can dress cute and buy clothes in the style you want. Even if you’re struggling in some areas, you have the ability to experience ease in others. 

It’s an ancestral rewrite for many of us. To be able to live a lil’ bit softer when our ancestors weren’t able to—this is a big f*cking deal. 

THE EPIGENETICS OF IT ALL

The concept of epigenetics is wild. We’re just out here, walking around carrying habits and patterns in our genes that were codes of survival to our ancestors. Get the DNA version of a software engineer in here to update this sh*t! 

To rewrite those codes calls for healing. A reckoning, even. Many of us are just out here in the world living patterns that were created long before we were even imagined possible. When we were literally living cells inside of our grandmothers before our mothers were born. And their grandmothers, and theirs, and on and on. 

I mean, can you imagine what horrors still live on in our bodies that we’re epigenetically still trying to survive from times when our (African American) foremothers were enslaved? A reckoning is in order, yes—but also gentle internal healing. Loosening of the chokehold those patterns have on us. The unclenching of the jaw. The allowing space for our lives to soften.

And if this stirred something in you, it may be because part of you is ready to live differently than the wonderful talented and creative women who had to survive on hard mode. System Reboot is for creatives carrying too much, moving on old inherited patterns, who crave a life with more support, softness, and room to breathe. 

If you’re ready to stop repeating exhaustion as legacy and start building better conditions of your own, this is your next step.

yeah… this belongs on your board